Ah this topic once again… I have been told I’m my own worst critic for a long time, and it’s true. The difference now is I know more about this in order to combat it but at times today I am too hard on myself.
I’m currently waiting for my new DBS (criminal record check) to arrive so I can start my new job as a housing support worker, but it’s taking so long to come through I’m getting so bored and stressed out. I’ve felt irritable and generally in a low mood today thinking about it. I know I shouldn’t because in the end I did well to get the job in the first place. I remind myself of this fact because it is the main thing. I have a job to go to but in the meantime it is frustrating waiting. This is a prime example of me being too harsh on myself because professionally I’m not where I want to be, but then again how many people are at 23?
Another thing I’m guilty of is comparing myself to others which again is a negative move. I do this when I think of myself waiting to start this job. I think about my friends and their jobs and think they’re doing much better than me. I resigned from my last job after being there just over a month because it was an incredibly tough job emotionally. I was a support worker in a mental/learning disabilities hospital. I hated it and couldn’t stick it for long. At the time I beat myself up over leaving but I know it was the right thing to do. This was in January so the last four months have been long and slow, so it wasn’t the best start to the year. However I also know it’s not the end of the world like I treated it at the time.
Being hard on myself is a difficult habit to break. For me personally, starting my new job will make me feel a lot better, like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Having too much time on my hands is doing my head in!
One of my best friend’s Dads once said to me, “don’t worry about things so much, you’re young and haven’t said good morning to the world yet.” I always remember this and I think it’s an excellent piece of advice.
I expect too much of myself and I tend to want things to happen perfectly which I know is unrealistic and quite frankly impossible.
Copyright MEN HEAL 2015